INSIDE MASTERMIND - The Auditions

As I’ve alluded to, curiosity took me to this place.  I must make it very clear that I have not hankered all my life to be on Mastermind!  I do love a good quiz. I do love to challenge myself in all sorts of ways.  And I do like to give my brain a workout at any time of day or night. 

But this does not = MM territory.

When I can, I have an eye on The Chase (UK version, I’m not so enamoured with the Australian version).  I never sit down and watch, but it is on in the background and, as I go about other things, I learn and I chuckle and am in awe of the Chasers.  But I do love it when the team wins.

One day, up pops an ad about Mastermind.  I had not heard it was coming back to our screens (having been absent in Europe for a couple of months just prior, I missed this).  I am intrigued.  What, I wonder, do they want of applicants?  What does one have to do or be to make it to that chair? Or even half way there.

I go onto the website and complete a chunk of the fields, with no real intention of applying.  When I get to the screen that says “upload photo” and “send us a video of why you want to be on the show”, a shudder of horror crawls through me and I escape right on out of there and get on with my life.

Because I have had to register, I get automated emails telling me I haven’t completed my registration.  No, I’m not really applying. 

And then, in mid-December I get a phone call inviting me to audition.

“But I haven’t registered properly,” I say, envisaging the half-completed online form.

They would like me to audition regardless.  Are they short on applicants or is it that a crazy creative woman who doesn’t complete her tasks has some appeal as a potential contender.   (I"m told there were "hundreds" of applications.) At this point, I haven’t even mentioned my non-application to anyone and now I’m speaking to someone from the production company about auditioning.  Gulp.

What to do?  What to do?  What to do?  Do I agree and take on something I can’t even begin to imagine?  Do I say, sorry, no and wonder what might have been?  

My mind is in turmoil (but it’s nothing compared to what lies ahead!)  I think “what the hell, how can a Skype audition in my own home be so bad?”  I figure that if it all goes wrong, no one will know and that will be that.  I’d have put my curiosity to the ultimate test and be all the wiser for knowing, just a little, how things operate behind the scenes.  And that would be the end of the story.

Okay then, I'll do it - I hear the words tumble from my mouth.  
The audition will be by Skype.  Tomorrow morning.  Choke.

I phone friend Cec, who is also a quiz teammate.  “You won’t believe this,” I say, and tell her the story.  She reassures me it’s all okay, they can’t have all maths professors.  I go to quiz that evening with a different filter and Cec is sworn to secrecy.

Next morning, Cec helps me sort out my Skype to get it working.  Minutes later, it rings. Is this the moment in life when all knowledge will seep immediately from my brain?

Stage one of the audition process is a round of general knowledge questions followed by a round of New Zealand general knowledge questions.  You never get to find out if you are wrong or right or what the “passed” answers are.  The questions keep coming.  Long questions on all manner of topics: sports, politics, geography, history, music ... you name it, it comes at me thick and fast.  It is impossible to gauge how I am doing.  

At quiz, you have input and clues coming from many sources – visual and audio clues, written clues, music, pictures etc, plus your teammates to bounce potential answers off.

In an exam, you can read the question, and read it again (vitally important).  You have time to consider your answer.  Hell, you can change your answer.  You can sift through your mind, delve deeply and siphon out the nonsense.  You have time to picture the lesson, your study notes, backtrack and nut it out.  You have some sort of reasonable chance of getting to the answer even when it seems impossible at first glance.  I used to quite enjoy exams (weird, I know) but, hell, I haven’t sat an exam in years!

Here, in my lounge, sitting staring at my own face on the Skype screen at 10am on a sunny morning, there are just words coming at me.  I can’t even see the mouth of the person delivering them.  No clues.  Just words.  And answers.  Right now.  Or not. 

There is no scope to start thinking “Did I get that one right” or “Nailed that one” or "Phew, got that one right" or “Must remember that to see if I got that one” or “It’s on the tip of my tongue” or “I should know that” or “What the hell are they talking about?”  One question relentlessly leads to another.  It's all jumbled up.  I try to retain composure while putting my brain through paces it hasn’t experienced before.  I’ve never done anything like this in my life. 

Stop the mind chatter, I tell myself.  The question, concentrate on the question.  Listen to the question.  Help, what’s the question?

It takes a while to settle into things but I get into a flow and eventually I clamber my way through the two rounds.  We bid farewell and the experience, although challenging, hasn’t been quite as threatening as I had imagined.  But that’s not to say it was without pressure. 

I ring Cec and debrief.  I can’t even remember half the questions and I have absolutely no idea how my effort measures up.  I suggest that will be the end of my Mastermind expedition.

A few days later I get a call I am not expecting.  I have somehow made it through to the next round. 

“You’re kidding me,” I say. 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” they say.  I am still surprised.

The second audition will be in a few days.  We make a time and I am glad I have time to breathe.  I ring Cec and then spin into outer space … she is right there with me. 

The thing is, you can’t really study for an audition like that.  The scope of the questions is so broad and random, you don’t know where to start.  I will just have to rely, as I did for the first one, on the knowledge I already have inside me.  I do polish up my staple diet of quiz topics but I’m not sure it will help.  I think I left my mind out in space somewhere ...

Mastermind is calling again and once again I’m on Skype, at home, about to have a new barrage of questions thrown at me.  This time it’s slightly different.  The general knowledge and NZ questions are all mixed up together and there will be less time to give your answer.  The pressure is on.

We’re under way and although I settle in slightly more quickly this time, it's tough - the mind is tangling and the brain is whirling but still managing to get answers out in spite of all the innter turmoil.  When it is over, I’m exhausted.  I have no idea whether my MM journey is over, or just beginning ...

Christmas comes and goes and my being welcomes the break from questions and wonder.  I keep doing Sudoku and cryptic crosswords, I continue to soak up every bit of knowledge I can and absorb new things in the world around me. I do this anyway but, if I’m honest, I guess I’m doing it with an extra layer of observance ... and I’m listening to Bowie and Talking Heads ... just in case ...!

Later in January, I receive an unexpected email telling me I have a provisional place on the show.  Yikes, I don’t know quite what to think.  I can run away right now.  Or I can go for it.

You know which route I choose!

(See post INSIDE MASTERMIND – The Preparation)